i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
