At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
