bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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