i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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