do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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