I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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