Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize