He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
