So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
