her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
