she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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