quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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