I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
