One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
