So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
