Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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