I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
