He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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