I think my vagina is haunted
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
