So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
