nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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