even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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