There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
