Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
