You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Duck Duck Cougar?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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