I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
