only if we run a train.
done.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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