I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish there were birth control emojis
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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