I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
