it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
