i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
