just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
