the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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