And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
