I heard we made out
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
