hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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