I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I touched a dick in church today
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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