that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize