i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
