Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
