I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
