I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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