Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
