I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
