At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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