I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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