This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
