hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize