let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
