No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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