I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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