Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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