Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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