420 ftw
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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