Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
