so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize